Totems II

by Totems of Home

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Music written, recorded and produced by T.O.H. with help from Jesse William Miller, Michael Beswetherick and John Rusch.

Mastered by David Hrivnak.


released August 17, 2016

Featured throughout Totems II:

Mason Lynass; all drums except for "I'll Bleed A Pool..."
Ings; vocals on "Juno" and "Faces Smiling"
Leah Nelson; violin on "Salty Hands" and "For Next Year".
Levi Gillis; tenor saxophone on "Iceland"
Alex Hahn; alto saxophone on "Faces Smiling"
Jesse Miller; vocals on California

Thanks to: Bronwyn Nora Wood, Jesse Botello and Kristen Eason, Michael Beswetherick, Jesse Miller aka LUWUM, Mason Lynass, Lenaig, Nolwenn, Korentin, Papa et Maman, the amazing folks at Fuel Coffee, Patrick and Michelle Leonard, Justin Frankel for writing REAPER, Kristian Garrard, Sheridan Riley, the Racer Sessions.


all rights reserved



Ronan Delisle Seattle, Washington

guitarist, composer, songwriter, teacher, student

based in seattle, wa

bio picture taken by haley freedlund in anacortes, wa

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Track Name: Night Flowers
i fell into a cab
with four blossoming night flowers
who talked about their trips to Rome
and digging deep for treasures old
the Rome in Texas, i presumed
there's a Dublin and a Paris, too
but who would ever want to hear? of southern stories way up here?

(dumb on the sidewalk)
(who's hands am i holding)

i cut my hand last night
on glass that had shattered near
my feet, kept moving through the night
through nervous drinks and poison laughs
realize i'm stumbling through flowers of the night
i saw my own blood on the ground
"is there someone who could show you home?"
said a stranger from out of town

Sufficiently consumed
I melt into the scenery
the force at work remains a mystery
and on my way outside
i caught a glimpse of your brown eyes
or was it them that found me looking
past your charm and through the other side of you
there was nothing i could say to make you smile
i tried to tell the truth
but after dark it's hard to find an honest place to draw the line
Track Name: For Next Year
You said I was the same last year
When we'd take walks to McKenna Park
and lay like fallen fruit
a little bruised, but just as sweet as the day we sprung forth

You said I was the same last year
When we'd hunch over tourist mugs and take the smell in
Were we the decorations you were missing all along?

Oh, but when I say you've been a diamond all the way
There's not a shred of doubt in my voice
Believe me one last time, I'm just a pen stroke and a front door's knock away

You said I was the same last year
So let me keep a party of you
For next year
Track Name: California
missing you, girl
last week in California
I was unimpressed with so many things

missing you, girl
last week in California
the sun was leaving marks on my skin

saw you last night for the first time in weeks
your face was just a blur on my screen

i thought i was right, but you know, there's something funny
it sort of feels like running away

watch me unfold, i can criticize for hours
in dangerous times i find my release
despite the signs, it's you i believe
Track Name: Blues, You
You were calling me by the name that you gave me
when we first stayed up all night
digging holes inside our minds

Now I'm running pretty low on cash
It's time, to pack up what I have
and fly back to you

I went back to sit in your room after you left
there was nothing
but the feeling left behind of who you were

As I was proving
proving my worth to you
I tripped and fell and bled
all over second avenue

my friends, they laughed
as drunken people do
as we stumbled down the street
back to the couch that felt like home back then

so I thought back to the way I felt in June
when I was happy
if i act this way it's just 'cause i'm so afraid

with you standing by day and night were a joyful blur
with you standing by i felt in control
with you by my side, i thought i knew my place for once
with you in my life, i needed nothing
nothing else
but you

summer songs, the ones we used to sing
up in my room
if i want that back, what do i have to give?
Track Name: Salty Hands
I poured my heart into a card on a redwood afternoon
Mason drove the whole way North
he lets us smoke inside the car now

I couldn't wait to give you news of where I'd swam that morning
How to continue being a friend to you, old darling?

Ate something sweet with salty hands
No, we are not a math rock band
I made a mistake on your address
I hope they know where you live
Track Name: Faces Smiling
I stepped on the platform and found my direction
Felt faces smiling back at me
The silence of side streets, the murmur of concrete
I told you my name
but a city, like a lover, forgets

I stepped on the platform and found my direction
Heard songs I knew played for me
I hoped to feel something
for days that are fleeting, through two hopeful hands
though attachment I did not expect

Oh, what's the price of feeling boundlessly alive?
Oh, is there a home in often saying my goodbyes?

I came to a slow stop at my destination
To three dollar meals right by the stop
I stood there and listened to strange conversation
of changes they saw in the streets
Track Name: Juno
when the news broke did you want to disobey?
feeling myself wash away...

all the people shout walking on and on for miles
down Broadway onto City Hall
I feel right at home, 'cause I'm a fair weather fan,
hopping turnstiles when the money's gone

a rope around your neck;
the dead of winter won't forget
how you stood up, how you let them know
but I feel right at home, 'cause I'm a cold weather fan
chanting mantras next to crying eyes
Track Name: Native Water
I don't understand it anymore than you

But I can understand a simple thought
The kinds I have when you're around
And I also a hear a careless word as it's coming from your mouth
I've been looking for a reason not to care so much

I don't understand this anymore than you

But I can learn to sing a simple tune
The kind you hum when I'm around
Though I like to guess, I'm often wrong
Now I'm looking at your mouth
I've been looking for a reason not to care too much

Why cut your hair?
Leave it longer I don't care
No longer youths
I feel serious, too aware

Native water up to our kneecaps
Would you share with me this frigid blessing?
Wooden spoons I packed from a past life
Would you share with me this humble offering?

But I like the hair under your arms
Our mornings under sleepy charm
I only care for simple words but for you, I know it's hard
I've been looking for a reason not care so much
Ignoring all the things I'm missing when we touch
Track Name: Iceland
iceland looks so calm
i miss you though i'm glad you're gone
silk road cymbals crash
send your photos, send your laughs

exhausted what was left of the comforting resource
that you provided
your undivided love
what to do, when "thank you" is not enough

our friends smoke too much
old friendship that dissolved in months
hands that hold you wrong
stronger each day

the guard you kept on my heart in july
you saved me from my springtime
what's wrong with embers of a flame
i'm having fun being something that i'm not
Track Name: I'll Bleed A Pool Into Your Hands
boxes made from pine, i'm dreaming of eternal rest
your copy of infinite jest we chose to leave behind
the residue from his insides
control yourself, you wicked citizen of this great settlement
i stood there near your mess

in class when we'd watch films from France
at 8 o'clock a.m
i'd sit in darkness wondering if i would die that way
boxes made from pine, i ask you, eternal rest
to show me what strange place is next
and who i'll leave behind

i'll have splinters from the boards that house me underground
would you meet me halfway down and turn the page over for me

long white candles without scent
defeat me, life i've led of evening tears, be still;
i'll bleed a pool into your hands
Track Name: La Côte Sauvage
I spent the Winter feeling vain
I'm glad I had a chance to get away for a while
I wasn't hurt, no, I was not in pain
All I needed was the cool embrace-
The rugged face-
of the Ocean

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