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Totems II

by Totems of Home

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1.
i fell into a cab with four blossoming night flowers who talked about their trips to Rome and digging deep for treasures old the Rome in Texas, i presumed there's a Dublin and a Paris, too but who would ever want to hear? of southern stories way up here? (dumb on the sidewalk) (who's hands am i holding) i cut my hand last night on glass that had shattered near my feet, kept moving through the night through nervous drinks and poison laughs realize i'm stumbling through flowers of the night i saw my own blood on the ground "is there someone who could show you home?" said a stranger from out of town Sufficiently consumed I melt into the scenery the force at work remains a mystery and on my way outside i caught a glimpse of your brown eyes or was it them that found me looking past your charm and through the other side of you there was nothing i could say to make you smile i tried to tell the truth but after dark it's hard to find an honest place to draw the line
2.
You said I was the same last year When we'd take walks to McKenna Park and lay like fallen fruit a little bruised, but just as sweet as the day we sprung forth You said I was the same last year When we'd hunch over tourist mugs and take the smell in Were we the decorations you were missing all along? Oh, but when I say you've been a diamond all the way There's not a shred of doubt in my voice Believe me one last time, I'm just a pen stroke and a front door's knock away You said I was the same last year So let me keep a party of you For next year
3.
California 02:37
missing you, girl last week in California I was unimpressed with so many things missing you, girl last week in California the sun was leaving marks on my skin saw you last night for the first time in weeks your face was just a blur on my screen i thought i was right, but you know, there's something funny it sort of feels like running away watch me unfold, i can criticize for hours in dangerous times i find my release despite the signs, it's you i believe
4.
Blues, You 03:21
You were calling me by the name that you gave me when we first stayed up all night digging holes inside our minds Now I'm running pretty low on cash It's time, to pack up what I have and fly back to you I went back to sit in your room after you left there was nothing but the feeling left behind of who you were As I was proving proving my worth to you I tripped and fell and bled all over second avenue my friends, they laughed as drunken people do as we stumbled down the street back to the couch that felt like home back then so I thought back to the way I felt in June when I was happy if i act this way it's just 'cause i'm so afraid with you standing by day and night were a joyful blur with you standing by i felt in control with you by my side, i thought i knew my place for once with you in my life, i needed nothing nothing else but you summer songs, the ones we used to sing up in my room if i want that back, what do i have to give?
5.
Salty Hands 00:40
I poured my heart into a card on a redwood afternoon Mason drove the whole way North he lets us smoke inside the car now I couldn't wait to give you news of where I'd swam that morning How to continue being a friend to you, old darling? Ate something sweet with salty hands No, we are not a math rock band I made a mistake on your address I hope they know where you live
6.
I stepped on the platform and found my direction Felt faces smiling back at me The silence of side streets, the murmur of concrete I told you my name but a city, like a lover, forgets I stepped on the platform and found my direction Heard songs I knew played for me I hoped to feel something for days that are fleeting, through two hopeful hands though attachment I did not expect Oh, what's the price of feeling boundlessly alive? Oh, is there a home in often saying my goodbyes? I came to a slow stop at my destination To three dollar meals right by the stop I stood there and listened to strange conversation of changes they saw in the streets
7.
Juno 04:29
when the news broke did you want to disobey? feeling myself wash away... all the people shout walking on and on for miles down Broadway onto City Hall I feel right at home, 'cause I'm a fair weather fan, hopping turnstiles when the money's gone a rope around your neck; the dead of winter won't forget how you stood up, how you let them know but I feel right at home, 'cause I'm a cold weather fan chanting mantras next to crying eyes
8.
Native Water 03:19
I don't understand it anymore than you But I can understand a simple thought The kinds I have when you're around And I also a hear a careless word as it's coming from your mouth I've been looking for a reason not to care so much I don't understand this anymore than you But I can learn to sing a simple tune The kind you hum when I'm around Though I like to guess, I'm often wrong Now I'm looking at your mouth I've been looking for a reason not to care too much Why cut your hair? Leave it longer I don't care No longer youths I feel serious, too aware Native water up to our kneecaps Would you share with me this frigid blessing? Wooden spoons I packed from a past life Would you share with me this humble offering? But I like the hair under your arms Our mornings under sleepy charm I only care for simple words but for you, I know it's hard I've been looking for a reason not care so much Ignoring all the things I'm missing when we touch
9.
Iceland 04:04
iceland looks so calm i miss you though i'm glad you're gone silk road cymbals crash send your photos, send your laughs exhausted what was left of the comforting resource that you provided your undivided love what to do, when "thank you" is not enough our friends smoke too much old friendship that dissolved in months hands that hold you wrong stronger each day the guard you kept on my heart in july you saved me from my springtime what's wrong with embers of a flame i'm having fun being something that i'm not
10.
boxes made from pine, i'm dreaming of eternal rest your copy of infinite jest we chose to leave behind the residue from his insides control yourself, you wicked citizen of this great settlement i stood there near your mess in class when we'd watch films from France at 8 o'clock a.m i'd sit in darkness wondering if i would die that way boxes made from pine, i ask you, eternal rest to show me what strange place is next and who i'll leave behind i'll have splinters from the boards that house me underground would you meet me halfway down and turn the page over for me long white candles without scent defeat me, life i've led of evening tears, be still; i'll bleed a pool into your hands
11.
I spent the Winter feeling vain I'm glad I had a chance to get away for a while I wasn't hurt, no, I was not in pain All I needed was the cool embrace- The rugged face- of the Ocean

about

Music written, recorded and produced by T.O.H. with help from Jesse William Miller, Michael Beswetherick and John Rusch.

Mastered by David Hrivnak.

credits

released August 17, 2016

Featured throughout Totems II:

Mason Lynass; all drums except for "I'll Bleed A Pool..."
Ings; vocals on "Juno" and "Faces Smiling"
Leah Nelson; violin on "Salty Hands" and "For Next Year".
Levi Gillis; tenor saxophone on "Iceland"
Alex Hahn; alto saxophone on "Faces Smiling"
Jesse Miller; vocals on California

Thanks to: Bronwyn Nora Wood, Jesse Botello and Kristen Eason, Michael Beswetherick, Jesse Miller aka LUWUM, Mason Lynass, Lenaig, Nolwenn, Korentin, Papa et Maman, the amazing folks at Fuel Coffee, Patrick and Michelle Leonard, Justin Frankel for writing REAPER, Kristian Garrard, Sheridan Riley, the Racer Sessions.

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Ronan Delisle Los Angeles, California

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